July 27, 2010

Our Surprise Homemade Wedding!

Surprise!  We got married!  And we planned it in less than two months...read on to learn how it's done, on a budget, as a surprise, and it still turned out to be the most amazing day ever!

Our original plan was to get married in 2012, when we had saved up $15,000 to pay for a big wedding. However, the more I started to think about it, the more depressing that goal became.  Saving up for three years just to pay for our wedding seemed crazy.  Why not save up and buy a home?  That's what we really wanted to do. 

We had already sent out invitations for our party which was a combination of my graduation party (for getting my master's) and our engagement party.  Since my fiances family was going to be over from Russia, one night when I was getting ready for bed a lightbulb went off over my head: why not make our party our wedding instead?  And not tell anyone, so it was a surprise wedding?  I talked it over with the fiance and he agreed, that would be a good idea.  Everyone invited to the party was asked to bring a dish of food to share, so we did not have to worry about paying a caterer.  We would get a keg and we had already told everyone to BYOB so we didn't have to worry about booze.  This is how we managed to plan our wedding in less than two months, and managed to make it amazing:

First I called the pastor at my church, which is a protestant church.  Neither my new husband nor I are very religious but I do have family members that work in the church and I explained my wedding to the pastor, who said he would come to my father's house where the party was being held and he would perform our wedding.  The church asks for a donation so we decided to give him $150 to do the wedding.  (On the day of the wedding, I had totally forgotten about paying him and only had 2 $100 bills on me that I had gotten from my grandparents so I just gave him that.)

We told our immediate family  members our plans, which was a smart thing to do since my dad decided he had to do a lot of yard work to get the yard in shape for the wedding.  Also this way our family members were able to help us plan and prep and my husband's family was able to prepare to come from Russia for a wedding, not just a graduation/engagement party. 

I went dress shopping as one of the first things I did.  I explained to the girls at the dress store what the wedding was going to be like, and that it was an outdoor summer wedding so they showed me a lot of dresses that were more casual and summery and thus, less costly.  I tried on about 7 dresses before I found "the one".  I didn't think much of this dress until I came out of the dressing room and stood in front of the 3 big mirrors and all of a sudden started bawling my eyes out.  That's when I knew.  Before I even saw the price tag, we all knew that was the dress.  My budget was $300.  The dress was $700 and the veil that matched it perfectly was another $150. 

Well, everyone in the store including the manager knew how I felt about the dress and we all wanted to make sure we did everything possible so that I bought that dress that day.  The store owner actually knocked the price down to $500 and then my stepmother gave me $200 to put towards the dress.  The owner threw in the veil for free (or included it in the price of the dress) so I ended up paying $330 total, and then $75 for alterations after the fact.  My fiance at the time was very happy that I was able to stay as close to budget ($4500) as possible.

We figured $300 for our budget for rings.  I don't know where we came up with this figure, but we had a certain amount of money saved in the bank and knew whatever that amount was, we had to make the wedding fit that budget.  Since it was an outdoor wedding, we rented two tents so the party could be held rain or shine.  We also rented chairs for the 150 people we had invited, and the cost of all of that was $750.  That took up a very large portion of our budget. 

We actually found a great deal at a local jeweler's.  They were having a sale: buy one wedding band, get one free.  So guess what?  We bought my husband's band for about $300 and got mine for free, so we stayed within budget there!  (Both bands were plain gold)

Another big expense was party supplies: plates, napkins, cups, etc.  We went to a bulk wholesale place near us to get these items.  It took us 3 or more trips so it's hard to itemize the bills but we spent at least $300 on these items plus bottled waters, sodas, sternos, and so on. 

Since my father and step-mother owned a florist at the time, their gift to us was our beautiful flowers.  I had a huge bouquet, all of my 4 maids had bouquets, the guys had boutoneires and the moms had corsages.  Also there were flower centerpieces on the head tables.

The cost of other centerpieces was taken on by my step-mother who suggested bowls of fruit in our wedding colors (pink and green), so we had papaya, grapes, guavas, limes, and jalepenos.  They were beautiful!  I also made centerpieces for the tables: each of my 13 tables had a story about my husband and I throughout our relationship, like our first date, first kiss, and other such memorable events.  I made these myself so they were not expensive.

I made our guestbook from a scrapbook, so I was able to design it the way I wanted and leave plenty of space for people to write us messages about how crazy we were to have a surprise wedding :)

I also put together a photo album of pictures of us throughout the years for people to look at before or after they signed the guestbook. 

I bought inexpensive favors for the tables, not for every person to take home.  Walmart had a box of 24 bells for like $15, I printed tags to stick in the tops of the bells that said "ring this bell and the bride and groom will kiss!"  Since it was an outdoor wedding there were no glasses for people to clink their silverware on to get us to kiss so I thought this was a nice touch.

For lighting once it got darker out, we had dollar store candles in our wedding colors on every table.  We also had a bonfire and sparklers at the end of the night.

We saved money on our wedding cake because my mother made it.  My girlfriend is a makeup artist so she did my makeup. I hired a girl from high school to do my hair, she charged $45 for an updo and did a fabulous job! We bought candles and decorated our own unity candle which saved us at least $20.  We did purchase a unity candle holder, however. 
($16 Walmart tiara!)


For favors for the wedding party, I spent a little more money than the husband would have liked.  We bought a case of our favorite wine (Yellow Tail Cabernet-$90) and soaked all the bottles to remove their labels.  We then put on our own labels that we had printed ($12).  Our parents each got a bottle of wine, as did all of the members of our wedding party, and my makeup artist.  I got the girls each a wine bottle stopper with a crystal heart ($3 each) and a tropical candle ($5 each).  I put all of their gifts in really cute zebra print black, white and pink bags ($15 each). 

We did the rehearsal dinner at my dad's-pizza and beer ($80).  The church printed our wedding programs for free.

Our DJ was expensive, he cost us $1100 but I guess he was worth it.  I didn't get to hear most of the music because we were taking pictures forever, but our guests seemed pleased.  Our photographer was great, she charged us $1000.  She came to my bridal lunch, our rehearsal dinner, the wedding, plus she is doing another shot of just the two of us in August because we were so busy she barely got pictures of just the two of us.  Her price included a photo album with 74 of our fave photos, plus 30 thank you cards with our photo on them.  She was really great!

My husband made the wedding bread, which is a Russian tradition.




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